Not about me but All about You

I am reading through Crazy Love again for my summer small group. I don't remember much from the first time that I read it because it was almost 3 years ago. This time around, God is teaching me new things. My eyes are more open and I am focused on Him and Him alone. In the chapter I was reading last night I was encouraged to read Isaiah 6 and Revelation 4. I read through them once and then again with my little brother Caleb. The connection in which I felt with Isaiah warmed my heart and made me even more anxious to leave and be in Uganda already. But, even so, with all of my excitement, I am questioning my own behavior and commitment. I long to be a missionary & fully live my life for the Lord & yet I do nothing while I am here in the states. Sure, I go to church, spend time in the word, & discuss the Lord with friends but I have yet to minister to my neighbors  here in the way that I did in India or in the way I will in Africa. Why is that?? The question asked in Crazy Love is simply: "Are you ready?" Am I ready? I surely like to think that I am but on the honest side, I am not. I can do just fine in a foreign country with people I may never meet again but when it comes to ministering to people whom I know here in america, in my city, scares me to death. But why? I should never be fearful of spreading the love of my Father! Ever! I should never worry about what God is telling me to do or where I need to go and yet, I do. These are aspects of my heart that will take time and prayer to resolve. According to the picture painting in Crazy Love, I am a lukewarm Christian because I have a fear of ministering to people I know and I definitely do not want to be lukewarm... ever! Here is what I read in Isaiah 6:8-13:

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" He said, "Go and tell the people: 
         " 'Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving.' Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed." 
The I said, "For how long, O Lord?" And he answered:
         "Until the cities lie ruined and without inhabitant, until the houses are left deserted and the fields ruined and ravaged, until the Lord has sent everyone far away and the land is utterly forsaken. And though a tenth remains in the land, it will again be laid waste. But as the terebinth and oak leave  stumps when they are cut down, so the holy seed will be the stump in the Land." 


I want to be ready. Not only for the foreign lands that the Lord is sending me to but here, in the place where I was raised, for the time that I am here waiting. Ask yourself if you are ready.

With love through Christ,
Hannah